Folks, here’s the story of Aggie the Moocher.
She hurt us so much, we need a suture.
Aggie made big promises she couldn’t keep.
Now government is paying, as the taxpayers weep.
Howdy howdy howdy how!
How did Aggie make a pow?
Hoodie hoodie hoodie who!
Hey, who has to pay, boo hoo!
Aggie messed around with fake insurance.
They were those credit-default swaps.
But with mortgage bonds, there was no endurance.
Aggie failed to show up with the mops.
(hidey-hi's!)
She had a dream about being queen of Eden.
She thought the payments, would not be needin’.
And if the gold and steel should crack,
Of bailout money, Uncle Sam has no lack.
(hidey-hi's!)
Uncle gave Aggie many houses and horses.
The bonuses were like a dozen courses.
Aggie got millions of nickels and dimes.
Now people are saying the bailouts were crimes.
(hidey-hi's!)
What’s the lesson we can learn from Aggie?
Must taxpayers be left holding the baggie?
The mortgages were backed by the land,
But now we see this is nothing but sand.
Howdy howdy howdy how!
How to stop the Aggies, how?
Hoodie hoodie hoodie who?
Who has to pay, who, who?
If land values fall down to zero,
Then we’ll no longer fiddle like Nero.
If communities collect all the rent,
Then moochers like Aggie can’t make a dent.
(hidey-hi's!)
Whoah!