Eye Contact: Break it and Ruin Your Chances? Or Help Them?
|December 18, 2013||Posted by Staff under Social Change|
Last year, research suggested that the idea of people not being able to look in the eyes when they were lying was fundamentally wrong. Your eyes don’t indicate your honesty, although your hands are a different story.
Not only does looking someone in the eye not convince them, it may actually harm your case. Eye contact, especially if someone is predisposed to disagree with you and you’re pushing them to look you back, is not persuasive at all.
If this sounds at odds with past research that’s found speakers who looks at their audience more are rated as more persuasive, understand that their outward gaze isn’t the same as making eye contact. That’s a two-person activity.
Spontaneous gaze at a speaker’s eyes is associated with greater prior agreement and (sometimes) greater receptiveness, but also with less attitude change.
Not all eye contact is created equal — when you’re with friends or loved ones, looking into their eyes generates trust. But when there’s conflict, it may suggest an effort to intimidate and or dominate, and so hurt your argument.
Ed. Notes: Don’t lock your gaze onto another’s may be sound advice but isn’t it also common sense? Along with how much you gaze at the person you’re talking to, your listener will probably also take into account how you appear to them — your smile, your words, your voice, your gestures, your dress, your subconscious aroma that humans can’t pick up consciously, etc. If there’s a shortcut to changing the minds of others, probably nothing works better than appearing as a posse of powerful individuals.