Hey! I'm Running for President...
I occupy an odd political niche in my family. My Dad, who has always been a
free-market, take-care-of-business Republican, has moved farther to the
right now that he is retired and has a chance to listen to the radio; he
has grasped the rampant left-wing bias of such sources as the New York
Times and NPR. On the other wing, my father-in-law, a card-carrying member
of the Communist Party in his younger days, has used his retirement to
delve more deeply into Socialism. He believes that capitalism is in its
decadent twilight, and the only answer is an international movement of the
working class. "But you don't have to worry," my wife teases me, "You're a
Georgist; nobody knows what you think!" Her only real interest in politics
is at the local level -- where she is creditably involved, as a School
Board member. She shoves in an old West Wing or Star Trek tape whenever the
President comes on, though; national politics gives her hives.
Since I spend 40 hours a week promulgating this Georgist thing, I allow
myself a good measure of reticence about it at family gatherings, where it
is just, after all, one ideology among many. I answer questions, if asked,
tersely, and suggest a web-link. I want to get right back to Eli's fencing
lessons or the amazing amount of rain we've had. Life's too short.
However, in the Interest of Full Disclosure -- and, I suppose, as a
reality-check, so as to stay in touch with how far the real is from the
ideal -- here, if anybody's interested, is where I stand on the issues:
National Defense. I'm for it. Seriously: in my Administration, a
huge can of whup-ass will be opened on anyone who invades these shores.
Because I abhor redundancy, however, I would abolish the Department of
Homeland Security. Seems to me the Defense Department ought to be able to
defend the security of our homeland. I would re-align the Pentagon with its
traditional mission. Too many resources have been wasted, up to now, on
National Offense. I would cancel the bunker-busters, mothball most of the
Carrier Battle Groups and immediately stop buying new fighter planes. The
fighter planes we had in 1980 outperform any planes anyone else has built
since then. I'm not going to fire the jet mechanics, but we certainly don't
need new ones.
I would give back, with thanks, the latest heap of "emergency military
funding", only spending what is necessary to implement the immediate
withdrawal of all of our troops (and all of our idiot contractors) from
Iraq and Afghanistan. I mean everybody, out: now. Enough already. If they
want us back, they'll invite us.
While we are on the subject of National Security: I would immediately,
completely, unilaterally, without strings or riders, forgive 100% of the
international debt of every nation classed by the IMF as a Heavily Indebted
Poor Country (HIPC). Don't kid yourselves: the USA has the power to do
that. Would that not bring a powerful fund of goodwill our way? Dollar for
dollar, this is the best anti-terrorism initiative I can think of.
My next anti-terrorism initiative (we're still on the issue of National
Security, by the way) is my Energy Program. This has many aspects;
space permits me only to list a few of the coolest ones:
Tax Reform. Well, everybody agrees that we need it, right? I realize
it is a long-term project, but my administration will settle for nothing
short of the Full Monty:
complete elimination of taxes on wages and sales; full collection of the
rental value of natural opportunities. If that sounds zealous, so be it.
It's time America came to grips with the liberating truth that nothing else
will work.
The Government. You free-marketeers out there who thought you could
count on Lindy Davies to implement a teeny-tiny, Gingrichian federal
government: It ain't me you're lookin' for, Babe. As our tax reforms begin
to take effect, the overall prosperity they engender will reduce the cost
of social-welfare at the federal level. But, until we make it to the
promised land, we'll still need such programs as:
Even in the best of times, however, I propose that these two Natural
Monopolies remain the permanent reponsibility of the national government:
I think you're getting the gist of my candidacy. Let me make three more
quick proposals and then let you go:
The Minimum Wage. Oddly enough, I will continue the current
administration's policy in this area, and not press for any increase in the
federal minimum wage. We won't need it much longer, anyway.
Immigration. A stable and prosperous Mexico is our best immigration
policy. People might still want to come here, of course, and I wouldn't
stop them. Our rising tide will be sufficient to float their dinghies. At
the same time, I would urge our neighbors to the south -- as well as all
those newly debt-free nations of what may now actually become "the
developing world" -- to examine our single-tax policy for themselves. It
may just be possible to stop racing to the bottom.
The United Nations. I would immediately pay, with interest, all back
dues owed by the United States, and I would appoint Sandra Bullock as
Ambassador. I know she may need to grow into the job, but we'll get her a
qualified staff -- and hey, if Ronald Reagan could manage as President, I'm
sure Sandra can handle this.
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Lindy Davies is the Program Director of the Henry George Institute.
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