The Free Market Rocks!
by Fred E. Foldvary, Senior Editor
Dudes! Babes! I'll tell you straight up. The free market rocks!
What's your pleasure, man? Do ya like music? Money? Nature? Love? Writing? Art?
Dude, the Man's going to tell you, no way! Can't just do that! Need permits. Need license. Need to wait for the BureauMan. Need to fill out stinkin' forms. Gotta get badges. It's a drag.
Then when the Man says, OK, we' let you, woe, they take away half you profit. That mucks.
My buddy here, Joe, he says, Dude! Yeah, taxes muck. Taxes stink. But hey, the Man's gotta have money. How we gonna protect the country, man, without taxes? Get real, Freedom man.
So I says to him, I say, Dude! I'm keeping it real. Sure, the Man's not gonna work for free. Maybe he could do a trade. But sure, the Man's gonna ask for dough. But he don't have to pick my pocket, you understand? He don't have to open my wallet. My momma can give him the money.
What, yo momma? What you talkin' about, man?
My momma, man. My momma who art in Nature. Mother nature, man. Dig?
No, F man, I don't get it. How's mamma nature gonna pay?
Land? Do I got land?
Yeah, man. Got land? You own some?
Me? You kidding? Get real, man. I pay rent to the big L.
This is real, man. Them that's got land, gets rich. Them who pays rent, stays poor.
Whatcha talkin', man? You some kind of commie? Man, I though you were for freedom! The market rules, man! Landlord, tenant, that's the market.
I am for freedom, man. Hear me out, OK? Here's the scoop. Those big chiefs, your Senator, your Governor, your Cong-man, your President, whatever, whom do these guys tax, man? They tax the worker. That's me, man. It's my money, I earned it, I should keep it. But they take it away. That's not freedom, is it?
No. Well, yes, because they need some dough, Dude.
Hear me out, man. They get that money and they build roads. They make bridges. They put out fires. That's all cool. But guess what? If they make things better, we guys want to be there. So we all go where it's cool, and that jacks up the rent. You dig, man?
I dig it, Dude. I dig it with spades. So?
So, here's the deal. We pay more rent to be there, and we also pay more taxes to be there. Man, we are being double billed! The L-man gets more rent, be we, not he, pay for the goods!
Man! You're giving me a head turn. I'm a little verklempt here. Tell me in baby talk, man.
It's, simple, Dude. The G-man puts up a bridge. You get taxed for it. And the L-man says you gotta cough up more rent, cause now our hood rocks. It'd be cool if Landlord-man paid for the stuff, but no, man, he don't pay. He takes, man. You pay twice, he takes, and government takes.
Oh, man, this is heavy. Man, wow! This is like, awesome. Where'd you get this scoop, man?
Got it from Cool Henry, that's where.
That's what I call ole Henry George. He de man! Nobody rocks like Cool Henry!
Where does he live, man?
Oh, he been dead for a hundred years. But his spirit lives, man.
Well, but how do I pick up this stuff?
Go to Progress, man. It's progress dot org on the web. Progress rocks! And go to Schalkenbach, for books.
Chalk and block, you say?
The Robert Schalkenbach Foundation, man. Go there for Henry's Books
Cool, man. So how come nobody told me before?
Man, that's a long story. Gotta go now. Later, Dude!
Yeah, later! Hey, thanks for the head trip. Keep it real!
-- Fred Foldvary
Copyright 2003 by Fred E. Foldvary. All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, which includes but is not limited to facsimile transmission, photocopying, recording, rekeying, or using any information storage or retrieval system, without giving full credit to Fred Foldvary and The Progress Report.
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